Nobody said raising a child would be easy...

Lately I’ve been thinking about what kind of man I want my son to grow up to be. There are certain things he already is and certain things he will develop as he continues to grow. Characteristics like being kind, compassionate, honest, loyal, slightly competitive, a humble winner, a leader, intelligent, so so so many more things I couldn’t even begin to list. While these things are all great, there is something greater I want him to be. A man after God’s own heart. Which isn’t easy these days. A Christian isn’t part of this world, so the world doesn’t like Christians; it puts them down, makes fun of them, even persecutes them. So how do I help Dakota to realize that things of this world, while seemingly fun, entertaining, enchanting, really aren’t so much?

Not such an easy answer. Especially when influences of the world surround him. Words that are meant tear down, demean, curse, cuss. Places where families and/or people get together and overindulge in alcohol which inevitably leads to poor word choices and behaviors. People who are suppose to be good role models that have poor moral and ethical behavior. People in his life who are suppose to set a good example but don’t; they say one thing and do the other. People my son wants to emulate because he loves them. How do I tell Dakota that these people he sees and is around aren’t exhibiting good choices? Especially when I myself am included in some of those?

He started preschool this year and it’s been interesting to watch him grow. I know he’s a great kid and we continually get compliments on how well behaved he is and how well he listens. When he first started I was worried about other kids’ behavior rubbing off on him. So I told him to take care of himself and do what he knows is right, what the teachers say to do, and not worry about or do what the other kids are doing. I want him to not follow other kids. I want him to be a leader. To set the standard. How do I instill that in him though? Dakota’s like any typical kid though and has his moments when he misbehaves but when his Dad or I correct him, he understands what he did wrong and typically doesn’t do it again. He’s starting to know what’s right and what’s wrong, how he should and shouldn’t act, what he should or shouldn’t do. That’s not to say he still always does what he knows is right/should act/should do. Like I said though, when he gets out of line and is disciplined, he knows then what he should do.

Being disciplined and being punished are two different things. Dakota is disciplined and corrected when he does something he’s not suppose to do. It’s interesting to watch how Dakota acts when he’s around other kids. It’s obvious that Dakota is disciplined by his parents. We discipline him because we love him and it shows. When he’s told not to do something, he stops doing it. When he’s told to sit down or pick up his toys, he does it. When he’s told not to talk and listen, he does it. Other kids will look at the teacher and continue doing what they’re not suppose to be doing or not listen all together and still misbehave.

So how do I get him to behave yet thrive so he can develop all these wonderful traits I want him to have? People ask us what are you doing with Dakota because whatever it is, it’s working. I tell them simply. We love him, which is the most important thing. He knows we love him unconditionally no matter what he does. What else do we do? We show him God’s love. We tell him about Jesus and how He loves us so very, very much. Much more than his Daddy and I ever will or ever could.

So how do I teach Dakota what it means to be a man after God’s own heart, to make him want to be one? One that doesn’t want to belong to this world, to do things that are of this world? How do I surround him with people who are good role models when bad ones are everywhere? Show him to be a follower of God and not of man?

Ian and I teach him the word of God. We read him the Bible. Make sure he takes note of the good traits and things and characteristics in my family members. We take him to church which is full of people who are great role models, a church where we have a Pastor that teaches the Word, teaches Jesus and teachers who do that as well. This world is ever changing and people do to. We don’t stay the same, stay constant. We weren’t made that way. We are suppose to grow, to flourish, to bear fruit. As we change, we need a teacher, a Pastor to help us as we change, to understand the Bible more thoroughly as we grow in God. In turn, we need to work on our own relationship with God, go to Him first with all things and listen to Him when He responds.

I need to change myself. I need to grow in God more and grow closer to Him daily. I need to put Him first, and then I can help Dakota even more. I need to pray for Dakota more, his future even more so. Lastly, I need to put Dakota in God’s hands. In God’s hands and in His arms, are the best place to be after all.